Network Reimagined: Relearning the Traditional Rules of Networking

Ninety new connections. Ten minutes. That is what happened when our founder Dunja handed the floor to Dr Vanessa Vallely OBE, and it set the tone for everything that followed.

Our community recently came together for an evening dedicated to unlearning and reimagining the traditional rules of networking. We returned to the warmth of ALMA+MARGO for a second time: a hair salon by day and a cultural hub by night.

Dunja introduced the theme of the evening and our wonderful guest speaker, Vanessa Vallely, founder of WeAreTheCity, an initiative that accelerates women’s careers through learning, networks and recognition.

True to form, Vanessa wasted no time. She kicked off with a live speed networking session, and within ten minutes, 90 new connections had been made in the room. A fitting proof of concept for everything that followed.

From that session, Vanessa shared the practical principles behind it:

• Sometimes the best opening line is the simplest one. Try 'can I stand next to you?' Chances are, everyone in that room is feeling exactly the same way. You do not need a grand opener. You just need to start.

• Look for someone you may have something in common with as a natural conversation starter.

• It is okay to do more listening than talking, or vice versa, on any given day.

• Listen out for an “aha!” moment and use it as an opportunity to deepen the conversation.

• You do not have to connect with everyone in the room. Even one new connection is one more than you had.

• Follow up within 24 to 48 hours.

For the second part of the evening, we explored three themes that challenged us to rethink the way we approach our careers, our confidence, and our relationships with others.

1. Confidence and Imposter Syndrome

Being confident in yourself allows you to know your strengths and your areas for growth. Understanding your strengths means you can leverage opportunities when they arise; being aware of where you struggle gives you the chance to grow. Vanessa also drew an important distinction between humility and self-discrediting. Too often, when we receive praise or recognition, we downplay it rather than own it. Accepting recognition is not arrogance: it is acknowledging your value and allowing others to see it too. Dismissing your achievements can quietly close doors that were meant to be open.

2. Personal Branding

Personal branding is what people see, what people hear, and what people say about you. It is the way you present yourself, verbally and in writing, and it works faster than you think. It takes approximately eight seconds for someone to form a first impression. Vanessa highlighted the importance of being intentional about how you want to be perceived: the three characteristics you want to be known for, what you do, and what you genuinely care about.

3. Reimagining Networking

The crux of unlearning the traditional rules of networking is simple: throw the word “networking” out of the window and just make conversation. Three key ways it supports both personal and professional growth:

i) Building community. Our network is not necessarily our community, but through genuine relationships and real conversations, it can become one over time.

ii) Finding a coach or mentor. A good mentor provides guidance, shares hard-won insight, and helps you navigate different stages of your career. Those relationships can even evolve into sponsorship over time.

iii) Giving back. Vanessa opened her talk with a line that stayed with the room: “If I have something and you need it, I’m going to give it to you.” Giving back does not have to mean charitable donations. It can mean sharing your expertise, mentoring someone, speaking on a panel, becoming a school governor, or simply showing up for the communities that shaped you.

There are evenings where you can feel something shift. This was one of them. The room was full but it did not feel crowded; it felt connected. One attendee, who has spent years going to networking events across London and New York, told us it ranked in her top two. Ever.

That is exactly what we set out to create. Not another evening of small talk and business cards, but a space where you leave with tangible skills and real connections.

That is what When Life Gives You Lemons is built on.

See you at the next squeeze!

Stephanie xx